Múdra
Výběr těch nejlepších mouder
-Když jsem byl malý, byl jsem namyšlený... Ale teď už nemám chybu.
-V každé organizaci je vždy aspoň jedna osoba, která ví, o co jde.
Tu je třeba najít a zastřelit...
-Všude dobře, doma manželka.
-Co z toho, že zítra bude lépe, když vždy, když se ráno probudím,
je dnes.
-Nevadí, že něco dělám pomalu, protože to možná dělám špatně.
Když máš nádhernou manželku, okouzlující milenku, když vlastníš
skvělé auto, tak asi nemáš problémy s daňovým úřadem. Když vždy,
jak vyjdeš na ulici, svítí na tebe jasné slunce a lidé se na tebe
usmívají... je čas přestat hulit.
-Vykouřená cigareta zkracuje život o 2 minuty,vypitá láhev rumu o
4 minuty a pracovní den o 8 hodin.
-Co uděláš, když zákonem chráněné zvíře žere zákonem chráněnou
rostlinu?
-Dlouho jsme se té anekdotě pana šéfa smáli, než jsme pochopili,
že jde o pracovní úkol.
-Nejlepší na plešaté hlavě je, že cítíš sněhové vločky.
-Nemám rád lidi, kteří berou drogy - hlavně celníky.
-V sedmnácti letech se děvčatům začíná měnit hlas... z NE na ANO.
-Nedůvěřuji velbloudům a všeobecně nikomu, kdo dokáže týden nepít!
-Žena je dobrý sluha, ale zlý pán.
-Rozdělovat restauraci na kuřáckou a nekuřáckou část je jako
rozdělit bazén na strany "smí se močit a nesmí se močit".
-Přístroj, který je pod proudem, vypadá stejně jako ten, který
není, jen je jiný na dotek.
-Nikdy neříkejte, ze se něco nedá, protože se vždy najde
iniciativní blbec, který neví, že se to nedá a udělá to!
-Nic tak neomezuje svobodu slova jako rozbitá huba!
-Na pracovišti jsem Bohem. Každý ví, že existuji, ale ještě mě
nikdo neviděl.
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